My Spouse and I Have a Verbal Agreement. What is the Quickest Way to Obtain a Divorce in Maryland?

AvatarDonna E. Van Scoy, Principal

The short answer is: it depends.

Obtaining a divorce in a short marriage with no children and few, if any, assets is very different than a long marriage with children and assets. Then there are marriages in between the short marriage and the long marriage with combinations of no children or children and a variety of assets.

A logical first step is to contact a lawyer. While you and your spouse have reached a verbal agreement and are working together, a lawyer cannot represent both parties in Maryland. No matter your level of cooperation and intentions, you and your spouse can easily have conflicts of interests in a divorce. So one or both of you should to consult with a lawyer.

Moving the Process Forward

  1. Be open to the fact that you and your spouse may not have considered every issue that needs to be addressed in your divorce. It is possible that what you agreed to with your spouse will negatively affect your rights. A lawyer will explain the law, review your agreement, and identify any issues. TIP: Do not sign any agreement with your spouse before reviewing with a lawyer.
  2. Both you and your spouse should each meet with a lawyer. While you have the right to obtain your divorce without the assistance of counsel, in my experience that can result in delay and greater expenses than securing legal advice at the beginning of the process. If your spouse does not want a lawyer, you can be the party that moves the divorce along. However, your lawyer will need to recommend to your spouse (in writing) that they obtain counsel. Your lawyer could provide two or three names of other counsel for you to share with your spouse. Then hopefully your spouse will also seek counsel, or at the very least your spouse could review the final agreement with an attorney.
  3. To assist in the evaluation of your case, come prepared to your initial consult. Write down what you believe is your agreement with your spouse. Bring a list of all your assets including current values and any debt associated with the assets. Bring a copy of your current mortgage statement, your last three years of tax returns, your last three paystubs and, if possible, your spouse’s last three paystubs. If there are children consider how you and your spouse will parent your children and what the children’s schedule will be with each parent.
  4. Once you have all the information necessary to propose a settlement to your spouse, a Separation Agreement will need to be drafted. Your spouse (and counsel) will need to review and approve the agreement. If both of you continue to cooperate with each other in the spirit of divorcing as quickly as possible, the Separation Agreement could be completed and executed as soon as your lawyer can draft the agreement and your spouse can review and approve. While it can be longer or shorter, the average completion of an agreement is 30 to 60 days.
  5. The next step is to file a complaint for an uncontested divorce. Your spouse has to be served and has up to 30 days to file an answer. The fastest ground for the divorce is a Mutual Consent. You and your spouse can speed up the answer time up by working to file the complaint and answer at the same time or together.
  6. The court will then schedule an uncontested hearing. The moving party (the one who files) and their lawyer need to be present. The other party (and their lawyer) can also be present. During COVID19 the hearing is being held remotely. While these are uncertain times, the hearing is normally scheduled in four to eight weeks. The divorced is usually finalized in within 14 days.

The information above depends on a settlement being reached and the parties truly working together. Each case is different. Contested cases can take anywhere from a year or two, or more. Again, involving a lawyer once you start considering a divorce will help you have the information you need to manage your divorce as efficiently as possible.

Do I have to be physically separated from my spouse in order to start the divorce process in Maryland?

AvatarCasey Florance, Principal

I hear some version of this question from new clients all the time, and the common assumption is the separation clock has to be ticking before you hire an attorney and before you start negotiating a settlement agreement.

But that’s not the case.

To be eligible to file with the Court for an absolute divorce in Maryland, you must have a ground for divorce at the moment you file. There are several options, as explained in detail by Heather Collier in her post about grounds for divorce  in Maryland. And because one of the “no fault” grounds is a one year separation, many people incorrectly assume that they have to be physically separated for a full year before the divorce process can even begin.

Think of your Divorce Process as a Train Ride

The decision to separate and divorce is when the train leaves the station, but the first stop is usually not filing a lawsuit for divorce with the Court. More typically, actually filing with the Court is one of the last stops on the route, if not the very last stop. The earlier stops involve working to resolve the case, and will include information gathering, negotiation, or mediation.

Those early “train stops” can all be happening while you and your spouse continue to live under the same roof. Many people even resolve their entire case while still living together, and the terms of their settlement agreement will then set out a timeframe for the physical separation, as well as how custody will work and/or personal property will be divided once the physical separation begins.

The train stop for the physical separation may come up at any point during your divorce train ride; most typically it happens somewhere in the middle of the ride, but it could be in the beginning or even after the divorce is final.

Physical Separation and Settlement Agreements

During this conversation, clients also sometimes assume that a physical separation is needed in order for a settlement agreement to be effective. Not so: an agreement between spouses is effective the moment it is signed by both parties, regardless of where each is living.

Furthermore, with the mutual consent ground for divorce in Maryland now available, there is no longer a requirement for a physical separation in order to be divorced by the Court, so long as all issues arising out of the marriage are resolved. The parties start operating pursuant to the terms of their settlement agreement the moment it is signed, regardless of whether they continue to live together, and regardless of whether they will be divorced by the Court next week or next year.   

The safety of my clients and their children is always my top priority, so moving out may have to be the first stop. But absent safety concerns, I typically like to discuss with my clients the advantages and disadvantages of physically separating during the divorce process, as well as the timing of such a move. For example, if there are minor children involved, moving out prior to an agreement regarding custody and the children’s schedule with each parent can have a major impact on custody negotiations and the ultimate outcome. Taking on a second set of housing expenses and the timing of that can likewise have a major impact on the case, particularly regarding cash flow and support issues.

If you are thinking about separation or divorce, I always recommend having a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney right away. It will serve your best interests to be educated about the process, your rights, and your obligations; how to protect yourself; and how the law will apply to the facts of your case.

Your attorney can help you come up with a clear strategy and work through all the decisions you will need to make in your case, including the major ones like when and how to physically separate from your spouse. 


You’ve Decided to Mediate Your Divorce. Should You Bring a Lawyer?

Deborah ReiserDeborah Reiser

You’ve decided to mediate your divorce case. You wisely decided to avoid the expense, acrimony, and uncertainty of a contested court proceeding in favor of a negotiated resolution with the assistance of a neutral third party. You’ve selected a mediator, and now are faced with the choice of whether you should go to mediation with or without your lawyer.

There are pros and cons to both approaches, and the decision deserves thoughtful consideration.

When You May Not Want an Attorney

Obviously, mediating without two additional lawyers present is, at first, less expensive. The math is easy — you are paying two fewer professionals for the real time of mediation. If you and your spouse are able to communicate civilly, if the issues are not mired in complexity, if positions are not hardened in concrete, and if both sides recognize the wisdom of compromise — then, by all means, consider meeting with the mediator alone.

When You Should Consider Bringing an Attorney

On the other hand, what if one spouse holds all the advantages, financially and otherwise?

  • What if one spouse is unable to appreciate the value of achieving a resolution even if imperfect?
  • What if the complexities of resolution are outside your comfort zone?
  • What if there are issues which require specific expertise, such as identifying and valuing business interests? Or dividing retirements and pensions?

Having your lawyer present in real time can make the difference between success and disaster.

Remember: The mediator is a neutral. S/he cannot offer legal advice to either party; rather, the mediator’s job is to get the parties to agreement. There may well be issues where you need actual advice about the wisdom of your position, about the risks and exposure you face with different choices, or about whether your negotiating strategy is even prudent or smart.

As a neutral, a mediator should not say to you “You would be unwise to do this, this is a mistake for you.” If your lawyer is present, you can address strengths and advantages, pitfalls and risks in real time. Otherwise, stopping the mediation to consult with your lawyer and then re-grouping not only slows progress; actually, the fits and starts can easily cost more money over the long run.

Similarly, suppose you reach a tentative agreement in mediation. The mediator should advise you to consult with your own attorney before signing what will be a binding contract. Suppose further that on consultation with your lawyer you become aware of a major issue you failed to address, or worse, resolved in a manner that can actually cause you harm. Then you have to return to the negotiating table. You’ve lost time, money and quite possibly have created a more intransigent bargaining position on the other side.

At the very least, you should consult with your own lawyer In advance of mediation in order to become educated as to your rights and obligations under the divorce law, to think through your goals and areas of potential compromise, and to “game-plan” your negotiating strategy. Discuss with your lawyer whether to have him/her accompany you to the actual mediation. Then, and only then, decide what course is best for you.

My soon-to-be Ex and I are Friendly: Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

AvatarCasey Florance, Principal

With the proliferation of online resources, and the ongoing pandemic, it is both more tempting and more possible than ever to craft your own Settlement Agreement from the comfort of your living room.

Online “forms” abound, and services like Legal Zoom can help you feel like the “do-it-yourself” (DIY) agreement is tailored to your particular situation. As a result, divorce lawyers frequently get asked: Do I really need a lawyer?

Although it is hard to advise people how to avoid needing my services, I typically tell potential clients that the answer really depends on the circumstances of their case and level of complexity of their custody and/or financial situation, as well as the dynamic between them and their soon-to-be Ex. There are a lot of resources and dispute resolution processes available to the self-represented person (read: divorcing person who does not have an attorney), but there are also many pitfalls.

Regardless of the chosen path and circumstances of the case, however, one thing I always tell anyone who will listen is this: you absolutely must meet with an attorney to review any Settlement Agreement BEFORE you sign it. Here’s why.

  1. It is important to be certain that the language of your Agreement actually sets forth the terms you have agreed upon.

    Just because you and your spouse/co-parent are comfortable negotiating directly and coming to agreed-upon resolutions for the issues arising out of your relationship, does not mean you are comfortable translating those agreed-upon concepts into written agreement terms.

    If your goal is to avoid Court and costly litigation while making your own decisions about your family, then your DIY Settlement Agreement will not serve its intended purpose if you have to spend money later litigating over what your agreement was supposed to say, or worse, seeking the Court’s interpretation of your agreement because you two have a dispute about what your agreement means. It is also important for you to understand your agreement so you know what you need to do once it is signed in order to comply with it moving forward.

  2. You don’t know what you don’t know.

    Many online tools for drafting DIY Settlement Agreements contain a series of options you self-select based on the categories listed. But more often than not, there are details about your custodial situation — or your finances, assets or debts — that are not represented in these pre-drafted menus. Or the options do not adequately capture your specific situation.

    The danger here is that once you sign an Agreement, you may have waived rights you didn’t even realize you had. Furthermore, by neglecting to include entire topic areas in your Agreement, you may have accidentally waived your ability to later address those topics.

  3. There is very likely “boiler plate” language embedded in the form agreement that makes certain provisions unable to be modified for any reason.

    In Maryland, there are often sections of a Settlement Agreement that are unable to be modified by a Court once the agreement is signed by both parties. For example, it is typical for agreements to state that the division of assets cannot be modified by the Court at any point in the future.

    It is also not unusual for time-bound alimony payments to be non-modifiable. As a result, it is extremely important to understand which provisions of your Settlement Agreement are able to be modified in the future, and which ones are not. Failure to understand your agreement – when you had the opportunity to review and understand it before signing it – is an unlikely basis for undoing your Agreement later if you are unhappy with it. And signing an Agreement which says that certain provisions are not able to be changed by the Court may leave you with little recourse.

  4. Ensure that the Agreement meets your goals.

    If you have attended mediation with a third-party neutral and the mediator drafted your Agreement, it remains important to have it reviewed by your own attorney before you sign it. You will want to ensure that the agreement meets your individual goals. Just as important, you want to make sure you actually understand each and every provision of your agreement. Many people don’t realize that a mediator does not represent either party’s interests and cannot provide legal advice; rather the mediator’s goal is to facilitate a resolution.

I recommend anyone going through a divorce to have an attorney guiding them through the process, explaining rights and obligations, strategizing to reach goals, and advocating for their interests. For many people, this option is not feasible for a variety of reasons. When that’s the case, it is nevertheless imperative to meet with an attorney to review your draft Settlement Agreement before you sign it.

I’ve Had It! How Soon Can I File for Absolute Divorce in Maryland?

AvatarHeather Collier, Principal

This is one of the most common questions I get from clients. In order to decide how soon you can file for divorce, we have to determine if you are eligible to seek a divorce in Maryland and, if so, on what basis. The basis for the divorce is called the “ground” for divorce. The timing for filing a divorce in Maryland depends on the answers to both questions.

To be eligible to file for divorce in Maryland, one party must live there at the time of filing. If the basis for the divorce, or the “grounds” for divorce occurred outside Maryland, then one party has to have resided in Maryland for at least 6 months before filing for divorce. 

Before the court can enter a Judgment of Absolute Divorce dissolving a couple’s marriage, the residency requirement must be met, one of the parties has to have a viable ground for absolute divorce; and all issues arising out of the parties’ marriage have to be resolved either by agreement of the parties or court order.   

Absolute Divorce Grounds

Maryland recognizes “no-fault” and “fault” grounds for absolute divorce.  Because some grounds for divorce have a waiting period, the ground (or grounds) for divorce you allege may impact when you can file.

No-fault grounds for absolute divorce are:

  • 12-month separation – the parties must live separate and apart, without cohabitation for a period of 12 months prior to filing for divorce, and continuing without interruption through the date the divorce is granted. 

    Translation:  you cannot spend the night under the same roof or have sex with your spouse for 12 months before you file for divorce and it has to stay that way after you file through the divorce.  Spending the night together under the same roof or having sex before the divorce is granted re-starts the separation clock on your 12-month separation period and will delay your ability to file under this ground.
  • Mutual Consent – this ground does not require a period of separation.  If you and your spouse have not yet separated or separated only recently, this ground may be the fastest means of filing for and obtaining a divorce.  In order to file for divorce based on Mutual Consent, you must meet the following requirements:
    • Have a signed, written agreement resolving all issues, including, alimony, property division, and the care, custody and support of any minor child or children;
    • Court approval of any agreement as to custody and support of a minor child as being in that child or children’s best interests; and
    • Neither party has filed to set aside the settlement agreement prior to the divorce hearing.

Fault grounds for divorce, with applicable waiting periods, include:

  • Adultery
  • Desertion, if desertion has continued for 12 continuous months.
  • Conviction of a felony or misdemeanor where the party has been sentenced to serve at least 3 years and has served 12 months of the sentence
  • Insanity if the spouse has been institutionalized for at least 3 years and the insanity is incurable
  • Cruelty of treatment
  • Excessively vicious conduct

Filing starts the divorce process, but the length of time for obtaining the actual Judgment of Absolute Divorce will depend on whether you settle some or all of the issues during the divorce litigation, or if you have a contested trial at the end where a judge will decide the outcome.