To Vax or Not To Vax: Co-Parents Face Tough Decision When It Comes to Vaccinating Kids

Erin KopelmanErin Kopelman, Principal

Ever since it was announced that children age 16 and older can get vaccinated against COVID-19, the phone is ringing and emails are popping from clients — many of whom I haven’t heard from in some time. The issue many of them are struggling with is that they and their co-parent disagree on whether to get their children vaccinated.

Whether your child receives a vaccination is a medical decision. Medical decisions of minor children are controlled by whomever has decision-making authority or legal custody. If you have a custody agreement or order, your agreement or order should says who has legal custody or decision making authority, and therefore who gets to determine whether your children will get a vaccination.

For those of you with joint legal custody or joint decision making authority, determining what to do may be more difficult. Joint legal custody or joint decision making authority means that you and your co-parent are supposed to discuss and make any decisions jointly. For those of you with joint legal custody or joint decision-making authority, check your custody agreement or order carefully. There may be a dispute-resolution provision requiring you to take specific steps to resolve the impasse before taking further action.

If you and your co-parent disagree about whether to vaccinate your children, take your current custody agreement or order and consult a family lawyer. There are creative solutions you perhaps haven’t explored, which have been successful in resolving legal custody decisions. In addition, they can advise you about what next options are available.

For more information, contact Erin at 301-347-1261 or elkopelman@lerchearly.com.

Is the COVID Pandemic Hindering Your Child’s Chances of Future Success?

AvatarErik Arena, Principal

“…[I]t ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” – Rocky Balboa

Since roughly April 2020, the concern I’ve heard most from clients, friends, and colleagues alike – what is the pandemic doing to my child’s academic and social development? This question is causing unquantifiable angst for many, particularly with no end to the pandemic in sight.

Until our local jurisdictions return to full-time, in-person learning, and even after that happens, what are the traits and skills parents can teach their child or children to ensure he or she is still positioned for success? 

Author Paul Tough provides a refreshing take on this topic in his 2012 book, How Children Succeed. In its introduction, Tough describes the book’s mission:  “… to solve some of the most pervasive mysteries of life:  Who succeeds and who fails? Why do some children thrive while others lose their way? And what can any of us do to steer an individual child – or a whole generation of children – away from failure and toward success.” 

Tough’s approach – study those that have, and have not achieved success by academic, scholastic, or professional avenues, in similar and differing environments, to define the traits common among those who succeed. 

Tough and others, cited in his book, posit that common denominators for success are not necessarily intelligence quotient, mathematical abilities, reading or writing competence, or mastery of social or applied sciences. Rather, they are, more consistently, character or personality traits such as perseverance, grit, curiosity, social intelligence, conscientiousness, optimism, and self-control. 

Viewed in the context of the COVID-pandemic, what might this mean for you and your child? Well, if Tough and his colleagues are correct, parents need not necessarily worry if their child is falling behind a bit in math or science or any particular course or courses. That might actually be the expectation, given the challenges of remote learning for many adolescents. 

Instead, parents can use the challenges of the pandemic to further their children’s perseverance, grit, curiosity, optimism, and self-control. How might one do that? 

  • Encourage them to test daily the limits of their intellectual and physical abilities and curiosities;
  • Incentivize them to exhibit a bit more perseverance and self-control each day;
  • Providing constructive encouragement and feedback to reward effort and perseverance, and foster optimism and grit, regardless of success or failure. 

For more information, contact Erik at eparena@lerchearly.com or 301-657-0725.

Decisions, Decisions: Can your spouse make them for you if you lack capacity?

AvatarHeather Collier, Principal

Too often couples find themselves in a situation where due to age, illness, or accident, one spouse no longer has the ability to make decisions or handle life’s responsibilities – in legal terms, that spouse lacks “capacity” – and there is no plan in place.

What happens then? Can your spouse make decisions for you simply because they are your spouse? If not, are they able to obtain authority to make decisions on your behalf even if you are already incapacitated?

My colleague and fellow guardianship practitioner, Jenica E. Cassidy, associate attorney at Lerch, Early & Brewer, joins us as a guest author on this post to answer these questions:  

Can my spouse make decisions for me if I lose capacity just because they are my spouse?

If you become incapacitated, your spouse does not automatically have authority to make all of your decisions and handle your affairs. This can have far-reaching implications, ranging from accessing your bank account and paying your bills to speaking with doctors and consenting to medical procedures. If you don’t already have a power of attorney and an advance healthcare directive in place, your spouse may have no other option but to seek guardianship over you.

What is guardianship?

Guardianship is a legal procedure where a court appoints guardian for a person who has been determined to lack capacity to make and communicate responsible decisions for themselves and handle their personal affairs.

The guardian can be appointed to handle financial matters or healthcare and personal matters, or both. The guardian essentially steps into the shoes of the incapacitated person and has control over all aspects of the person’s life. Because of this, the court takes guardianship very seriously. A person seeking guardianship over another must file a detailed petition along with medical certifications verifying the incapacity. They must also provide notice to people close to the incapacitated person. The court will appoint an attorney to represent the incapacitated person and will hold a hearing before appointing a guardian. If anyone objects to the guardianship, the contested matter could proceed to a jury trial.

Suffice it to say, the guardianship process can be emotionally taxing, financially burdensome, and may carry on for many months. On top of that, it requires disclosing deeply personal information to a public record where a judge or jury will make the ultimate decision regarding who has control over your affairs.

What can I do now to make sure I have control over who makes decisions for me if I am not able to make them for myself?

It’s best to avoid guardianship if you can. It’s meant to be a matter of last resort after all other options have been exhausted. The best way to do this is to plan ahead. Prepare the appropriate estate planning documents. Name your spouse or a trusted individual to make decisions for you and handle your affairs should you lose the ability to do so on your own.

What type of lawyer do I look for to help me with these issues?

If you are planning ahead, see an estate planning lawyer to help you prepare the appropriate estate planning documents, including powers of attorney and advance medical directives, designating who has authority to make decisions for you in the event of certain circumstances.

If you are trying to pursue a guardianship over a loved one, see a family law lawyer or elder law lawyer who handles guardianship matters.

For more information, contact family law attorney Heather Collier at hscollier@lerchearly.com or elder law attorney Jenica Cassidy at jecassidy@lerchearly.com.

You May Need These Other Professionals During Your Divorce

AvatarCasey Florance, Principal

Going through a divorce is an extremely stressful time.  There are so many decisions you will need to make, and having the advice and wisdom of a trusted divorce attorney may just be the starting point.  Here is a primer on some of the other professionals you may need during your divorce process, depending on the issues you are facing.

Therapist/Counselor.  Most people in the middle of a divorce would be well-served to have their own therapist or counselor for extra support during the process. Divorce lawyers are not therapists and we don’t take insurance. Get a mental health professional on your side to help make sure you are focused on and able to pursue your own best interests throughout the divorce.  It will be important for you to be able to make confident decisions as you move forward, and having an individual therapist/counselor may be key.    

Real Estate Agent/Appraiser/Mortgage Broker.  If there is a family home (or any other real estate) at issue in your case, you will likely need to know the home’s value, or what kind of work would need to be done in order to maximize the sales price, or even whether you might qualify to re-finance an existing mortgage.  You may also need assistance in locating a new home and figuring out exactly what you can afford to buy or rent after the divorce.  

CPA/Tax Attorney/Financial Adviser.  Many married couples share an accountant and/or a financial planner. For joint assets, joint tax filings, and joint financial goals this may make sense.  During a divorce, however, I encourage my clients to identify and hire their own accountant and/or financial planner, so that their individualized goals are addressed and met, both during the divorce process and thereafter.  There may be decisions about tax filing status, deductions, and other tax matters; as well as how and whether investments can or should be divided during the divorce.  And if the IRS is or may become involved, a solid tax controversy attorney may become necessary.  Having trusted professionals who are solely focused on your needs will help you gather the information you need to make the best decisions now and for your future.    

Other Attorneys: Bankruptcy, Estate Planning, Immigration, Criminal Defense, etc.  Your case may involve any number of legal issues that a divorce attorney is not an expert in, but you will still need advice on those topics in order to make the best decisions possible during your divorce process.  Having more than one lawyer may become important, depending on your case.  And you will be best served to get your estate plan updated once your divorce is complete.   

Private Investigator.  Whether you suspect your spouse is cheating or you want proof of what your co-parent is really up to when he or she has parenting time with your kids, you may find yourself in need of a private investigator during your divorce. 

At Lerch Early, we are well-versed in, and well-connected to, the additional resources that our clients will need to achieve their goals during a divorce.  We want our clients to be able to make informed, intelligent decisions at every step.  And our goal is always for our clients to be able to move forward with their lives in a positive and productive way.  

For more information, contact Casey at 301-657-0162 or cwflorance@lerchearly.com.