Getting Divorced? Get off Social Media!

Erin KopelmanErin Kopelman, Principal

“Privacy is dead, and social media holds the smoking gun.” – Pete Cashmore, CEO of Mashable

Eighty-one percent of lawyers find social media networking evidence worth presenting in court, and 66% of divorce cases use Facebook as a principal source of evidence, according to a recent law review article. These are striking numbers worth paying attention to if you’re considering divorce.

A Real World Issue

Your social media posts can and will be used against you.

Just imagine you are on a dating website before you separated from your spouse. Or, in a moment of anger or frustration you post about your divorce and/or your spouse. How might this affect what a judge decides about the custody of your children or your finances?

Now imagine that you claim because of a back injury you cannot work and need alimony, but there are pictures up on the internet of you dancing on a bar, horseback riding, or doing a cartwheel. What might that do to your alimony claim?

Obtaining Social Media Evidence is Easier Than You Think

A person can usually download the profile and postings of others with whom they are “friends” on the site. If your spouse has “un-friended” you, you can ask someone else to secure your spouse’s social media.

Some people going through divorce “un-friend” their spouse and their spouse’s friends and family on their social media, feeling a false sense of security that their spouse is not going to see their profile and posts. Not only does this hurt their relationship with these people, but if someone sees something on your profile that they find interesting, you’d be surprised how quickly it makes its way back to your spouse.

Be aware you can also ask for enforceable discovery requests for the other side to download and produce their social media account profiles and postings. And, your spouse can also subpoena your social media profiles, accounts and postings directly from the provider. 

If you’re posting on social media, you must assume that whatever you post will be seen by your spouse, and if you don’t settle, a judge. If you are considering a divorce, immediately consult a lawyer and stop posting social media. There are rules about the destruction of evidence, which may include social media. When meeting with a lawyer provide them full disclosure about what there is online about you. 

And, going forward, the best way to protect yourself is to not post.  

Are You a Stay-at-Home Parent?

In a Divorce, You Should Consider These Five Tips

AvatarDonna E. Van Scoy, Principal

In the event of a divorce, the stay-at-home parent often feels the negative impact of the decision of who stays with the kids.

Marriage is hard and requires continued work to be successful. Even with hard work and commitment, not every marriage succeeds. According to Earth & World, 46% of marriages in the United States fail. If you are going to be the stay-at-home parent who becomes the financially dependent spouse, consider the following tips to protect your future (and your children’s future).

  1. Manage the family money/assets or at the very least be fully aware of the family money/assets. Communicate regularly about the finances and assets (monthly or quarterly is best).
  2. Where possible be sure all assets are joint assets with both names appearing on accounts, titles, and deeds.
    1. Find a vehicle to establish a retirement account for yourself.
    2. If your family works with a financial planner, establish at the beginning that all communication are to be sent to both you and your spouse and that you both will be involved in any meetings (including phone calls/texts).
  3. Read and fully understand your state and federal tax returns before they are submitted. If you have questions, make sure they are answered.
  4. If you have a profession, take the steps to remain relevant in your field.
  5. Maintain or create contacts outside of your spouse. Be aware of your spouse’s work world and participate where appropriate.

Being an active spouse in the financial part of your marriage helps to ensure you have the necessary knowledge to assist your attorney, allows you to contribute to settlement discussions, and ensures your ability to move forward in the event of a divorce.